When someone is so sweet to you, don’t expect that he will be like that all the time, because even the sweetest chocolate expires.
*
(Source: abbbbycastle)
Once upon a time..
I was a happy me doing all sorts of things i want without any restrictions.
But now.. I have lose all my freedom and start a new chapter of my life.
Thinking life would be easy even with a baby, but I was wrong. Very wrong.
First few days, I was so happy with my newborn & am unhappy that my ‘mother-in-law’ wants to put a leg into everything about my baby be it feeding or carrying the baby..
Weeks later, I got so fed up with my newborn due to non-stop crying and irritation from him and yet, my ‘mother-in-law’ was not around to help out.
Somehow, truely, I hated my ‘mother-in-law’ so much due to ‘something’ which caused much unhappiness that stayed in my heart till today. I will never ever forget this incident. Never ~ Whatever she says and she thinks will always be correct & make sense to her. She will not take other people’s feeling into much consideration. Although I do pity her at times, but after all, conclusion is I still hate her very much.
Next, my hubby. I hated him very much too. Telling him all sorts of things that I dislike about his mom and brother, is just like one ear in & out. So many things I had said and repeated myseld umpteen times, nothing seems to be done. Like example, I told her mom many times not to put my baby to sleep on the stomach even though this position MIGHT last him to sleep for many hours but how accurate can she confirm this? There’s a lot of people saying so but I just dun wanna take the risk because there’s a high risk of SIDS. Even my baby head and neck is strong and he’s able to turn himself from side to side but accidents do happen right? So why would I let my own child take this risk even if it’s 1 in 5000 cases? See. She just wanna put a leg into every of my child’s affair. Why can’t she just respect my decision as my child’s mother??!! As for his brother, inconsiderate basket. He does everything loud and not understanding. My baby is sensitive to noise and babies get shocked by surrounding easily. One fine day.. When he got his own child, I will pray hard he get his revenge. But also difficult judging from his eccentric character.
I don’t know how many fucking times must I cry tolerating all these nonsense. I’m quite sure I have gotten post-natal depression. I lost my freedom, my figure, my life just for this baby. I don’t regret losing all those things for my baby but I do regretted that I didn’t found a really good husband who will treat me even better despite bearing him a baby. When I had a fever of 38.2 degree, he wanted to bring me to the doctor but due to his mother convincing him this and that end up we didn’t go. & now.. My back has been aching from the day I discharge due to epidural, at first, he didn’t even mentioned about bringing me to the doctor till one day, we had a big fight he decided to bring me to the doctor. But again.. The mother talk to him this and that end up, I have to suffer day by day of the pain coming stronger instead of healing. I don’t know what will become of me one fine day. Paralyse?? Is my body, not theirs. Why would they give a damn? Can I walk out of the house to see a doctor myself? Yes, I can. But how about my baby? I can walk out of this family any time but I know I won’t walk away from my baby because I love him. Because of my baby, I rather suffer. I know my back will never recover if I do not seek early treatment. It just kept dragging. Day by day.. I dunno how.. Even when I’m down with flu, headach, sore throat, whatsoever. He just listens to his mother and not me. What’s her motive? She just wanna see me get so sick till I’m hospitalize than she happy.. Wait till that day, I shall see how she’s gonna answer to my family. Conclusion. I hated her very much. Very very much ~ ! Even my hubby. Because he just doesn’t cares anymore. Thanks for all these. If something really happened, I will not forgive the whole family. Trust me.
& I shall remain, forever.
Virus Doctor
i just placed this new air purifier in my room and it is called the Virus Doctor. Not really sure how it’s gonna help me and my room.. The air that’s giving out is far too minimal although I’ve already switched it on to the max. Hope that this tiny baby can get rid of my sensitive nose and other harmful virus in my room..
& I suddenly remembered that this coming Thursday, 13th, I have to report back to Cantonment again. Kill me..
missu missu ^^
Come on.. Oh yeah!! Nothing roxs my world than having my damn freedom back (: but, I seriously don’t understand why must he give me a 7 o’clock curfew!! Darn!! He said I’m not allowed to be screened by any officers outside and that the curfew is told by my IO.. Oh well, mystery will be revealed when I report back on the 13th. We shall see then~
I’m starting to missed my ah ma’s cooking and also missed her person too!! Staying at home is miserable though as I have to hunt for my own food and cook it myself. Which I’m like so damn lazy lor for goodness sick.. Guessed I’ll go back some other day again where I can really get up as early as 5am. Kill me~!
Hubby! I gotten another message from your friend, Joe. He told me that you actually asked him to tell me to visit you Yesterday. But I only got his message this early afternoon due to some reason he had mentioned in his message. It’s already saved in my folder.. Do not doubt me alright. Muacks!!
I’m so excited of the arrival of 16th!! Baby Ashlyn must be looking forward to it too (:
Everyday, baby & I are counting down to the days of your release and it’s finally arriving! Finally. I just can’t wait.. Hubby!!!!! A big big hug and kiss urgently wanted and needed when you see me alright. Muacks!! Missu missu
